The Final Entry

Craig passed away peacefully on February 23, 2019 at 4:30 a.m. in a beautiful suite at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital overlooking the city lights in Salt Lake City UT. The kids and I were fortunate to be at his side. We were so lucky to have 2 extra years with him after his last hospital stay in 2017. Thank you for reading and for following our story for almost 10 years. So much has happened over the years but the very best part is that Craig was able to be here for so many big events in our children's lives.

He saw Chase graduate high school in 2009 right after his diagnosis. He saw Maddie graduate high school 2 years later. Then in 2013, Chase graduated college and in 2016, Maddie graduated college. The ultimate daddy/daughter date came on July 14, 2016 when Craig walked Maddie down the aisle to marry wonderful Mitch Peterson. He next attended Maddie's white coat ceremony as she began medical school at the U of U in 2017. All big events for parents to be there for their children. We never thought he would be able to live this long when our kids were 18 and 15 but now they're 28 and 25 and mature adults who are well on their ways to productive and successful lives.

He said this past week how much he will miss his kids and it will be too long until he sees them again. My heart aches for Craig to miss out on the next events in our lives. The medical school graduations, the houses, the vacations, the grandkids. That's what really breaks my heart as I know Craig would be the best grandpa ever. His dad was the ultimate grandpa and Craig would be even better. No one loves our kids like Craig and I do. We can talk about them and worry about them and plan trips and events to spend time with them and we know it's what we both desire more than anything. Not having him to share in this is hard to imagine. On regular days over the last few years he would ask me late at night if I'd talked to Maddie that day. I'd say maybe we had texted but not really spoken. He would then pick up the phone and say "Hi Maddie, I just wanted to see how your day went?" He just needed that touch to each of our kids that made us both so happy. When Chase would call on his way to work and I would put the phone on speaker and both chat with Chase, it felt so good. I will never again have that time to share with him and talk about how much we loved our kids. He said his kids were the best accomplishment in his life and I totally agree. We are the luckiest parents.

I will miss so many things. I will miss taking care of him and making sure he has his meds and is on schedule for pain relief. I will miss watching the national news with him each day at 5:30. I will miss calling him if I was out of the house in the afternoon to see if he wanted me to pick up something for him to eat. He loved his Burger King burgers and Taco Bell burritos. I will miss coming home to find him watching Bonanza or Gunsmoke in the kitchen in his favorite chair with his silky pillows. I will miss his kiss and "I love you" each night. I will miss his blue eyes and gray hair and how handsome he looked in navy blue. I will miss his offbeat humor and funny sayings for things. There are so many quirks and things about him I will miss but most of all I will miss having my best friend and companion in my life.

What I won't miss are his bad days and the frustration we both felt with his declining health. It's hard to remember when he was vital and energetic. He hated being sick and limited in his activities. He wanted to ride his bike up Millcreek and do half-gainers off the diving board. He wanted to be active and travel to the many places we haven't been. He wanted to see his kids have kids and spoil them with love and attention. He wanted to finish all the projects he had started. He had great intentions to clean out the garage and a few sheds in the backyard but it just wasn't going to happen. Cancer sucked everything out of him and made just getting up in the morning a huge task.

Life isn't fair and that's ok. We can all appreciate the good things we have and not worry about the things we cannot change. I feel Craig made the best of his situation and he still did his best to stay engaged in life and people. In the last two years it has been a little tougher every day to keep going but he did. We travelled to St. George a few times; Huntington Beach with the kids and his brother, Scott, last summer; Palm Springs in Dec. with the kids, Scout and our new German Shepherd granddog, Max. We all spent Christmas together in SLC.

Christmas 2018 with Mitch, Maddie, Max, Chase, Suzy, Scout and Craig

At Zoo Lights with our nephew Todd and Sarah Gardner and their kids.

Maddie and Craig remodeling a house in Sugarhouse we bought as an investment. Maddie and Mitch did most of the work and are renting from us.

Family in Palm Springs, December 2018. We drove in a motorhome with 2 big dogs and 4 adults there and 5 adults and 2 dogs back! It was memorable and fun!

Craig in Palm Springs with Max, Maddie and Mitch's dog, playing tug-o-war.

Our sweet Scout who suddenly left us Jan 4, 2019. He was an amazing golden retriever who served as a therapy dog at Primary Children's Hospital and a READ dog at an elementary school with Suzy. Craig said he was the best dog he'd ever had.

 Summer 2018 in Huntington Beach. Maddie, Max, Mitch, Suzy Scout and Craig.

Chase and Scout at Huntington Beach

Scout

Summer 2018 in Millcreek Canyon, Craig and Scout

Craig riding in the Mini with Scout and Maddie

Rest in peace my love. I will love you forever and will see your spirit in our kids enjoying life with gusto as you did for so many years until cancer took it away from you.

All my love,
Suzy