Merry Christmas!!

We just want to say thanks to everyone and Merry Christmas to all! This has been a rough year but such a love-filled and special time for all of us at the Doutré household. We appreciate everyone's support and love. We hope you're all having a wonderful Christmas with your families...that's all that really is important. What the Grinch said is so true...

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.

Maybe Christmas," he thought, "means a little bit more."

-- Dr. Seuss

A special thank you to the nice elf that left a surprise at our door this afternoon. We watched an episode of "Pushing Daisies" and when I walked upstairs there was a long package on our front step. It was beautifully wrapped in green and red polka dot paper with cute matching ribbon. I picked it up and opened it and inside I found a wooden board painted white with black letters and the saying "Prepare for the worst...Hope for the BEST" written on it. This is our blog theme and we would like to thank the person(s)? who did this for us. It was such a sweet surprise. Here's a picture of the sign.We're always hoping and praying. Craig has suffered from gout in his knee the last week but it's getting a little better and the best part is he's here and enjoying being with the family and his quality of life is good. We are so very blessed and thankful for all we have together.

Scanned and Static

Craig had a CT scan today. He "loved" drinking the contrast (a different "gastro" formula this time he flavored with Crystal Light...yum!) as usual before the scan. We ate lunch after at the Bistro (I resisted the sweet potato fries for once) and then headed home. During the afternoon we got an unexpected phone call from Dr. Jones. She said the scans look good and there's no new tumor growth. The pancreas tumor is the same as the last scan which is expected since it hasn't been hit with chemo. The left side of the liver has two large tumors of which one has reduced by about 1 cm and the other is about the same size as before or "static". This is great news. The few months off treatment have not shown any ill effects and this gives Craig even more time to feel good for awhile. Dr. Jones said we wouldn't need to see her this week and suggested meeting with her in January and then scanning again in February. She felt this was reasonable and reiterated that these are slow growing tumors and as long as they are static (even after 3 months since the last chemo) then Craig should be fine. She assured me this was not reckless behavior and as long as we scan him every 2 months we'll be on top of whatever is happening in his liver. Craig is very happy and relieved to not be receiving a chemo treatment 4 days after Christmas. Everyone enjoy the holiday season and thank you for your prayers and thoughts on our behalf.

Thanksgiving Update

On the day before Thanksgiving we went to the zoo with most of the Doutre cousins. Here's a few pictures from that day. It was fun to see the animals in the colder environment (and the animals below too!)
Thanksgiving at the Doutre's. It was a wonderful night at Lisa and Scott McDermott's house. The tables were set beautifully and the meal was so very tasty. Below Craig getting a head rub from his big brother Dave. Thanks Scott and Lisa for a memorable Thanksgiving with everyone.Marie, Dave, Scott, Grandma Greta and Grandpa Dave.
Ellie, Maddie, Lexi, Chase, Taylor, Jake and Erica at the kid's table.

Chase is 19!!

Chase celebrated his 19th birthday last night at The Cheesecake Factory with the fam and his best buddies Mason and Stuart. Here they are showing off their orthodontia work. Three orthodontists should be very proud! We love hanging out with these guys...they're our 2nd and 3rd sons...in no particular order.
Craig, Maddie and I also attended the festivities which included hot buffalo strips, chicken madeira, lettuce wraps, chicken piccata, salisbury steak and enchiladas for the birthday boy. One piece of Dulce de Leche cheesecake we all shared for dessert...such lightweight eaters!

Taking a Break from Cancer

We're taking a break from cancer. After this week's meeting with Dr. Jones, Craig's oncologist, we decided that he's in a good place right now to enjoy the fall weather, feel good and enjoy life. The tumors aren't growing like crazy and we've done some good damage to them, his liver is working just fine and he's got the diabetes under control. Craig presented his "case" to Dr. Jones and she agreed that he should enjoy the good quality of life he's experiencing right now. He was scheduled for the next chemoembolization on Nov. 3, next Tuesday. But now he'll have a CT scan in Dec. to check everything and some lab work too but barring any unforeseen problems, he won't be having another chemoembolization until after Christmas. Craig was thrilled with this news and we knew this is the right thing for him right now. He's feeling better and looking better now than since he was diagnosed.

We went out to dinner last night with our friends, past Bishop Dave and Julie O'Leary. It was one of the first times in a long time that we've had a normal "go out to dinner" night and we absolutely loved it. Craig was able to eat and it felt good and he wasn't wiped out from the day. When we came home Craig said, "do you realize that was the first normal night we've had in a long time?" We so appreciate and love the O'Leary's...they are so generous and caring. Thanks for dinner, next time it's our treat.

We hope everyone has a great Halloween! Thanks for caring about us. Enjoy the next two months with friends and family and we will too. It's the people in your lives that count. We are learning that more every day.

10 days + insulin = 3 lbs!

Craig is really getting the hang of this diabetes thing. He should, having lived with 2 diabetic sisters most of his life but he never really appreciated what they've gone through until now. Craig has commented many times the past 10 days about how much he sympathizes with the challenges of diabetes. The struggle to eat what is right and keep his levels even with the insulin all at the same time is tough. After the first week his numbers started coming down and he actually went low a few times and experienced insulin reaction. He has learned to keep something sugary with him and to carry his test kit and insulin. But the good news is he is feeling so much better now. He has energy and has been out and around this past week. I even escaped for a few days to St. George and Craig took care of himself all weekend with the help of Chase and Maddie. I'm so glad to see him feeling more like himself and he's even gained 3 lbs! He's been a great low-carb eater and getting a lot of protein to help his body build up some strength. His face looked a little more filled in when I came back. One thing that's been weird is his voice...it was very weak and quiet when he wasn't feeling good and now that he's stronger it's come back too! 2 weeks from tomorrow is supposed to be the next chemo...he's talking about pushing it back, he wants to continue to feel good for a little while longer but we'll see what the doctors say next week. There is the option of the chemo pill which would keep the tumors static they say but then there's other side effects. We'll need to weigh all the options but for now he's really enjoying the fall weather and some normal days.

The highs and lows of blood sugar...

New issue...high blood sugar. Here we thought we were skating along just trying to get Craig to gain some weight and low and behold his blood sugar skyrockets to 495 today! To be honest...we hadn't been checking it every day because we ran out of test strips but it had been pretty normal for over 2 weeks since the last chemo. We needed a prescription for test strips since we'd been using Lisa's leftovers. Dr. Jones gave us a prescription last week and finally yesterday I went to the Diabetic Supply Center and got more test strips after they figured out how to code it for insurance since we wasn't classified as a diabetic. With the test strips now in hand, Craig tested his blood sugar this morning and we were shocked! Tried it again and it was still in the 400s. Called Dr. Craig and he nicely said come up and we'll get him some insulin. We did and Dr. Craig gave Craig some long acting and short acting insulin and pills to get it under control. No wonder Craig had been so tired this week and peeing every hour and his eyes were suddenly going bad! Last week his blood sugar at Huntsman was 197 but it wasn't a fasting sugar so we didn't worry too much. Now his poor body can start to put on some weight as weight loss is also a sign of high blood sugar. Dr. Craig says we just need to get it under control and then he'll probably be able to regulate it with the pill alone. The tumors most likely were producing insulin and maybe we've killed enough of them to make his body out of whack right now. But now he'll have to add insulin shots to his repertoire. It's never a dull moment!

Have to mention the wonderful wedding and reception of our darling nephew Christopher Harmon and his new bride Britnie Pendleton yesterday. This is Dr. Craig and Marianne's son. They are the absolute cutest couple and we love them dearly. Best wishes and travel safely on your Cancun honeymoon! Here's a few pictures from the wedding.

First of all...this is the couple in one of their many gorgeous engagement photos.

This is at the dinner the night before the wedding.
Chris and Britnie in the middle, us on the outsides.

This is at the temple on Oct. 8, 2009 after they were married.
Beautiful Britnie Pendleton Harmon!!
We thought she could be the new "Feather Princess" at Disneyland!

Cute Matthew Harmon and Maddie - aren't cousins the best?

Snowbird with the Thomas family

Thanks to Jason and Sherrie, we spent a few days at Snowbird's Cliff Lodge for some rest, relaxation and eating! Here's Craig looking rather svelte in his swimsuit. We tried hard to fatten him up at the restaurants and with all the fattening food we brought up to the condo. Here's the crew in the hot tub with a little too much steam but it was nice!! (Sherrie and Jake were missing from the photo because Jake's too young to be at the roof top pool...sorry!) Thanks Thomas family, we love you guys! You do so much to help us out and keep us entertained.

Grandpa Dave

Cute Grandpa is in the Woodland Park rehab center right now as he tries to get stronger after an extended hospital stay. Craig and I went to visit him last Sunday and he is doing very well and getting stronger all the time. He's probably the healthiest out of the ailing Doutres right now! We love you Grandpa!

And the scan is in...

Dr. Carlisle was very proud of himself today declaring: "there is dead tissue" in your liver vs. living, growing tumors. We saw for ourselves on the screen the black areas that used to be tumors in the left side of the liver were now gray and absorbing contrast which is what we want them to do. The last chemo was an aggressive treatment and it has been deemed a success and Dr. Carlisle is ready to go in there again. The problem is...Craig isn't ready and still is recovering from the last one. He does not have the energy physically or psychologically to do it yet. The other issue is he is basically malnourished according to Dr. Carlisle and needs to start taking in food "like a linebacker" to make his body strong again. He said you need to take in up to 3500 calories a day to keep up with what the tumors are taking from you and not lose weight. They call it a "hypercatabolic state" or an excessive metabolic breakdown of body tissue in general, leading to weight loss and wasting. Craig does not have an appetite right now at all and struggles to eat food each day. The dr. wants to put a feeding tube into his stomach and inject a liquid food into him many times a day to up his calorie and nutrition level. Craig needs to do this to help him gain the strength he needs to endure another chemo treatment in Nov. So we're thinking about that idea plus he was given an appetite stimulant medicine to try this weekend and see what it does. I'm kind of getting a complex...it must be my cooking (or lack of cooking) that's doing it. But really I'm trying to feed him!

The other news is that there is a new chemo pill for pancreatic cancer called Sutent. It has shown promise in "progression-free" survival for patients with pancreatic islet cell tumors. Patients in the trials did not show tumor growth for up to 11 months vs. 5 months in patients who got the placebo. This could be an option for Craig if he just isn't strong enough to continue the chemo embolization right now. It's nice to have another option available.

Getting Out

Today Craig and I "got out" and we drove up Big Cottonwood Canyon. It was beautiful with the fall colors and we walked around Silver Lake and took this picture. He's still fighting to keep his 160 lbs. on. He's not feeling like any food sounds too good but after this outing he actually ate 2 Arby's roast beef sandwiches smothered in lots of Arby's sauce and half a chocolate shake. I was happy to see him actually hungry! This week is a CT scan on Tuesday where he gets to drink the yucky contrast for 2 hours before the scan and get blood work that same day. On Thursday we meet with Dr. Carlisle and Dr. Jones to see what the scan and blood work showed. Pray for decimated tumors and low chromogranin-A numbers!

Maddie's Homecoming Dance

Maddie attended the Homecoming dance at Skyline last night. She was absolutely stunning, model-quality, knock 'em dead gorgeous. Here's a photo where you can see for yourself. I am just the mother talking so you do have to realize I'm slightly biased. The lucky guy was Danny Bowen who is also a junior at Skyline.

This photo is with Maddie's best friend Shelby McVea and her date Nelson Johansen.

A Strapping 160 pounds

Here is "the Craiger"! He's vertical and moving around without oxygen. I'm so proud of him for the progress he's made this week. He's eating and drinking and actually going up and down the stairs! He's even walked as far as 1/2 block down the street (and back)! He's doing so much better this week so we feel really lucky he's pulled through this one so far. Now we just need to keep him eating...mashed potatoes, ice cream and popsicles are his favorites. He even went to Arby's yesterday for the "5 for $5" deal. Ate 2 and that was it for the day. As you can see his hair is still there...a little thinner and coarser but he's still got a lot. Thanks everyone for the nice things you do for us daily.

A roller coaster

This really is a roller coaster. The last time I wrote was Tuesday and now it's Sunday. The last 4 days have been very challenging. Poor Craig sunk into a drug-induced stupor and became very confused and unresponsive to much of anything. He has been in pain and could not relax at night, was restless and up every hour wandering around the bedroom, trying to get comfortable on the chair or the bed. Moving his pillows and rearranging them over and over. Feeling he had to go to the bathroom over and over and just totally out of it. I was following him around trying to catch him if he fell and trying to help him get comfortable. It was almost impossible to sleep at all. For 3 nights he got up once an hour then finally around 4am he would sleep for about 4 hours. On Friday I was extremely worried that something was seriously wrong. Dr. Craig told me to take him to the LDS Hospital ER since Huntsman doesn't have an ER. They checked him out and drew blood and hooked him up to an IV. The labs showed that the liver was functioning ok and his electrolytes were ok. He was slightly dehydrated so we pumped him full of 2 liters of fluid and they sent us home with a new drug to help him relax and sleep. Friday night he still didn't sleep and neither did I and by Saturday I was feeling pretty hopeless. David, Craig's brother, came over and they watched the BYU game together and Dave fed him and kept him awake. He eventually did fall asleep but when he woke up he had turned a corner. He was lucid and talking coherently. It was amazing. He said he felt like the fog had been lifted. His pain level has decreased where just ibuprofen seems to hit it during the day. He sat up and ate and showered and put on clean clothes and came into the kitchen and we checked his blood oxygen level and it was 94 without oxygen. So what can I say...but we felt like we got Craig back. Cute Maddie had even said earlier today that she felt like she needed to watch a video from the past of her dad to remember what he was like. But now...slowly but surely we feel the awful drugs have left his body and he's back to being more normal (well, for Craig) again. Thanks to David, Scott, Lisa, Craig H. and everyone else for really pulling us through the last few days. We couldn't have done it without you. Today is Sunday and he's been up and talking and eating and being a part of the family again. What a relief to us all. Thanks for everyone thoughts and prayers.

Big hot dogs and old people

It's Tuesday, Craig has actually been a little more awake and alert today. The pain hasn't been as bad, in fact, he didn't take a pain pill until this afternoon. He's in his favorite chair in our bedroom, eating and drinking and having very weird dreams about big hot dogs and old people peeing (not in the same dream). He's also had the image of a rotten banana split down the middle with flowers all around the edges. He can almost carry on a conversation but usually zones out in the middle. I think he might survive this...it was a little scary the last few days. He has been so out of it. I can't wait to see the old Craig back making jokes and being obnoxious! Thanks again to everyone and especially to Dr. Craig for making a house call and checking his vitals and helping us through this.

Please drink Craig

Craig still hasn't eaten anything and is drinking only a little. My brother Dr. Craig told me to do the "tent" test on his skin. You pinch your skin on your arm and if it makes a little "tent" then you know you are dehydrated. Craig's arm is making a little tent so I've really been pushing him to drink every hour. I'm hoping to get the full 32 oz. mug full of water down him today. He did request a red popsicle so we've got those in the freezer when he wakes up enough to try one. His pain is intense when he moves so he prefers to lay or sit still. He's been kind of loopy on the drugs, telling me he sees bugs on the ceiling and on my forehead. We're just hoping some major damage has been done to the tumors...

Sleeping

It's Friday night at 9 pm and Craig has slept the entire day. Any time he wakes up he is in pain right in his liver where they zapped him. He struggles to get out of bed, goes to the bathroom and gets right back in bed. I've borrowed a baby monitor from my friend Jenny and I can be downstairs in my office working and keep an "ear" on my "baby" upstairs asleep in our bedroom. He really has not made a peep all day. He also hasn't eaten anything and barely drinks enough water to wash down the pills I'm giving him. He has the oxygen flowing and is pretty peaceful in his sleep. I think his body just needs to rest and recover from what it's been through. Thanks to my own personal "Mary Poppins" who swooped in today and did the wash, cleaned the bathrooms and even made cookies. I love you Mary Ann. You have helped us all so very much!

Rough night

Last night was a rough night for Craig. Between them checking his vitals and blood sugar every hour...he didn't get a lot of sleep. His blood sugar came down to normal and his heart came up to normal. They think it was the steroids that caused the blood sugar spike so he's off those now. Then the liver pain started right in the area of the chemo and he could hardly move. By morning they called for the pain management dr. to come in and then he was put on the long acting Oxycontin which really knocked him out. He also is having trouble getting his breath so he is on oxygen now. He slept most of the afternoon and only woke up to use the bathroom. They decided he was stable enough now to go home but with the oxygen. Craig was happy about that but every time I'd say, "let's change into your clothes", he'd say, "just give me another half hour to sleep". So it took about 3 hours to finally coax him into changing into his clothes and getting in the wheelchair to the car. On the drive home, every time I applied the brakes in the car or accelerated he felt it in his liver. The poor guy was really wiped out and made it to the kitchen with Chase and Jason's help then sat on the couch to watch the Utah game and was out. He hasn't eaten anything since yesterday morning so our goal now is to get him to eat tomorrow and continue to drink. We came home with 8 bottles of pills...so I'm now creating a chart so we can track his medications. Thanks to my brother Craig for dropping off an oximeter from his office so we can measure his oxygen saturation at home. It's so nice to have a doctor in the family!

I spoke too soon

Well...I spoke too soon. It's late on Wed. and Craig's still in the hospital. Today he felt pretty good but by lunch and the time we thought he was coming home, his blood sugar shot off the charts (over 500...the portable machine couldn't read it) and they needed to check it again through the lab. They did and it was 560. Then his heart rate went from 51 this morning to about 41 in the afternoon. The Drs. decided about 5 pm that he better stay over and they injected 12 units of insulin in him and ordered an EKG. The insulin didn't make a huge difference and his blood sugar was still in the 300s. So they put him on an insulin drip. The EKG showed a heart rate of 39 and they have hooked him up to a machine to track his heart rate overnight. Tomorrow they'll probably call in a cardiologist and see what might be going on with his heart. I've come home now to catch up on work, see the kids (and Scout) and sleep a little. Craig is comfortable and hopefully will sleep better tonight even though they'll be taking his blood sugar every hour! He was hoping to come home so he could sleep uninterrupted. You just never know what is going to happen...stay tuned!

He got through it!

Well, he got through it and it was so much better than last time! The procedure was only about 2.5 hours. Dr. Carlisle reported that he concentrated on the left side of the liver and found 2 fist-sized tumors there that he was able to target with the chemo. Craig's anatomy does require a few extra twists and the Dr. had to come through an artery that comes from his stomach to reach the left side of his liver. He felt like he really blasted the two tumors and we won't have to treat them again for awhile. The Dr. said this was about 30% of his tumor load. Next time he'll go back to the right side and then the next time the rest of the liver. Then Craig can get a 3-6 month break we hope.

Craig is feeling pretty good. The urinary catheter still does cause a little irritation whether it's placed correctly or not. So that would be his main complaint. Next time he might be able to go without it since we know Dr. Carlisle can get in there and out in a few hours. Craig hasn't had much pain so far and he was able to stand up an hour after the procedure because the Dr. placed a plug in the main artery unlike last time. All in all, we feel really good about this time. I'll post some pictures after I bring the camera home today. Thanks for everyone's calls, emails, texts, and prayers. We can't tell you how much it means to us.

Chemo #2

I'm sitting at Huntsman Cancer Hospital while Craig is in for the procedure right now. We came up yesterday at 2 and they put is in an observation room. It's a room without windows and could possibly have 3 beds in it. We thought...not quite the suite we had last time! They said they were full on the 5th floor and would see if they could get us on the 4th floor. They eventually did which was good because Craig really enjoys looking outside and it was pretty depressing in the windowless room. So now we're in 4507 and looking west. Not quite the suite but still a nice room. We do have a couch and 2 chairs for sitting which is nice. Craig got hooked up to an IV and has had fluids dripping in him for the last 19 hours. They want him really hydrated to open up the arteries as much as possible to gain easier access into the liver. They gave him some drugs right before they took him in to relax him and the octreotide for the tumors. It immediately made him sick to his stomach. He hasn't had any food today so that's partially why. I feel kind of quilty now. I've already had one order of sweet potato fries yesterday for dinner and I'm thinking of going up there now to get another for lunch...maybe throw in a salad too! He should be out of the procedure around 1 or 2. I'll keep you updated. Thanks for everyone's calls, texts and prayers you're sending our way.

Next Monday is the day

These are the zinnias we grew from seed in our backyard. Don't they just make you happy? I smile every time I go in the backyard and see them.

Craig got moved up a day for chemo...well actually he'll still have it on Sept. 1 but he checks in on Aug. 31 at 3 pm to get ready for it. Dr. Carlisle will do it early Tues. morning instead of us showing up at 6 am on Tuesday. We're hoping for the suite again but the odds of that at 3 pm aren't great. Craig's not exactly looking forward to it (although I am looking forward to the sweet potato fries) and is trying this week to use the energy he has to get a few things done. Hopefully he'll fit a bike ride up to Dog Lake in there and a hike. He is weighing in at 180 right now which is about 15 down from his start weight. He looks great but doesn't feel as good as he looks. His dad, Grandpa Dave, is in the hospital with heart and kidney problems and his sister Greta-Ann is in the hospital in Seattle with diabetes complications...so the Doutre's are not faring well at the moment. Health truly is everything...you don't need much more to be happy.

This is Scout watching me take pictures of the zinnias...I tried to get him to pose in front of them but he was more interested in me throwing the ball. (Note the 2 he has by him...he always has 2, one ball is just not fun.)

If by chance you want to contact us and don't have our email or phone number... they are sdoutre@comcast.net and our home phone is 801-274-7600. I recently realized directory assistance gives you our 2nd business line in the house so sometimes that may be confusing. Craig loves hearing from you and sometimes you might not want to be so public on the blog. Thanks to everyone who is thinking about us right now. We are hoping this time might not be as awful as last time. Maybe your body starts to get used to it more...

Summer Fun

Just wanted to put up a few pictures of fun times this summer...
This is Craig and Maddie with Ryder Jeffries who stopped by to visit with his mom and baby brother from Oklahoma. We miss having them in the neighborhood.Maddie holding Ryder, Jenn and baby Cash.John and Trish Lewis, Alix and her husband Clint, Fisher and Annabelle, Craig and I. Jon and Trish lived in our basement apt. on Highland View Circle where Alix was born and in the Commonwealth house. Their cute family has grown up so much. They visited from Idaho.

Todd, Sarah and Eliza Gardner and Maddie in the pool. It's been a great summer for pool time. We love having the Gardner family over. Sarah is due the end of Sept. with a baby boy!Scout with his favorite toy "Bowser". He has had it since he was a puppy and really loves him and doesn't chew him up! Scout is a great dog. The kids say I love him more than them...just sometimes!My brother Kent celebrated his 60th birthday on August 12. Here he is with his daughters Nicole and Kristy and granddaughter Brinley. We love you guys!
All of my siblings together on Kent's birthday...Kent, Kathy, Mary Ann, Craig and me! I love you all, you've been such a great support to me and my family.

Maddie turned 16 on August 15!! Here she is with our good friend Sherrie Thomas up Millcreek Canyon last Sunday. Maddie's friends surprised her with a party at our house the night before.

Our good friends, the Thomas family...Jason, Sherrie, Maddie and Jake. Paola (center) is here from Brazil as an exchange student. Maddie just returned from a year in Brazil. The Thomas family does so much for us and always makes us feel loved. We really appreciate their friendship.
Maddie with her "new" car courtesy of Grandma and Grandpa Doutre and Craig and I. Watch out, there's a new driver in the neighborhood. We obviously don't have pictures of everyone (stop by and we'll take a picture!)...but we want all of you to know how much we love and appreciate you. We couldn't do this alone. We appreciate every call, note, visit and thought in our behalf. Craig is feeling better the last 4-5 days and even went on an excursion to Idaho with Todd Gardner yesterday. So life is good right now...too bad we just got the call for the next chemo. Sept. 1 at 8 am we will report to Huntsman for the 2nd chemoembolization of the liver. New doctor, catheter in and we're ready to go in and kill some more tumors!

"There is HOPE"

Today as we drove home from 4 hours at the doctor's office...Craig said "I feel like there is HOPE!" It makes me cry to write this because it has felt so hopeless at times but today we were buoyed up by a doctor that spoke with confidence and purpose. We met Dr. Carlisle, our new intervention radiologist, and he listened and he offered new ideas and he gave us hope. I can't tell you how much that changes our outlook. He looked at Craig as a whole person with needs and wants and understood his need for quality of life. He offered new options in treatment that would include a new radiation treatment for tumors in the liver. It's new and seeing good results without the downside of chemo. He explained that the tumors are showing signs of necrosis (dying) and even though the size looks the same on the scan, the insides are dying. He thought it would be good to wait a few weeks to do the chemo again before we do the radiation treatment since it takes 6-8 weeks to schedule. We can do both. We can kill this cancer and give Craig the quality of life he deserves for as long as possible. There truly is hope!

These are supposed to be the "good" days...

It's been over 2 weeks since I last wrote. Craig has had good days and bad days. Definitely not the way the doctors had presented it. They said probably 2 weeks of feeling yucky then 4 weeks of feeling pretty good before the next treatment. Well, we're into it almost 5 weeks and he really can't say he's feeling even "good" consistently. His liver is so tender and feels as if it's been beat up. His energy level is pretty low. He can't imagine going back into his liver again anytime soon.

We did get some bad news last week after the CT scan. The liver is stable and there is no evidence of change from the previous scan. The tumors have not changed...he's been through all this and the chemo has not killed any part of the tumors. This is our best option in conquering this disease and the first treatment did not do anything. There is a little good news. The liver function is still good. So his liver is still holding strong even after being blasted with poison.

We meet with the new intervention radiologist, Dr. Carlisle, tomorrow to discuss the next treatment. Hopefully he'll have some encouraging ideas of how he can attack the tumors in the liver. I'll post again after that appointment.

Thanks for everyone's love and encouragement. Craig has got to keep fighting this!

Please refer this pain to someone else...

Craig has some good days and some bad days. The weird thing is now most of his problem is a sharp pain in his right shoulder. This is referred pain from the liver. It is a very strong pain that debilitates him. He can barely move and has trouble even lifting his hand up when this strikes. The oxycodone doesn't really seem to help as much as ibuprofen. He's alternating between the two. He's very worried about becoming addicted so he puts off the meds until he really needs them even though everyone says to "stay on top of the pain". He does appreciate a foot massage which helps him relax. His skin has been very dry since the chemo and his feet really itch. He hasn't lost any hair, in fact he just trimmed it today (yes, he cuts his own hair...what can I say!). His appetite is coming back a little and he enjoyed the food at Kelsie Wagstaff's wedding last night. He is holding strong at 177 lbs. which really looks very good on him! He's still a stud and as handsome as the day I married him! Today he's gone off on a motorcycle ride up the canyon with his good friend Jason. I'll try to get a picture to post when then come back. Today is a good day and we appreciate that immensely! Lots of love to you all...especially to the McDermott family who are an amazing group. Steve is making great progress and we can't wait to see him get out of the hospital soon. Becky is truly my hero. Thanks for everyone's comments on the blog...it really makes Craig's day (and mine) to hear from you.

Craig is feeling a little better every day. He doesn't have a ton of energy but he does get out more each day. He had a doctor's appt. today and everything is looking pretty good as far as blood work and liver function. We had a long discussion about the procedure debacle last week and decided to go with a different doctor for the procedure next time. We'll probably be looking at the next chemoembolization the end of August. He has lost 14 lbs. since last week...quite the extreme weight loss program don't you think? Thanks to everyone for the love you show us. Craig's brothers Scott (left) and Dave (right) have been so great and do so much for us. We love you guys!

Craig the Terrorist

So it happened. The chemo started hitting him Friday night and by Saturday morning he was wiped out. He felt achy, nauseous, hot then chilled, just plain awful. Like the worst flu you've ever had. Poor guy could hardly make it from bed to the bathroom. He drank very little and and ate even less. He slept and took the drugs he could handle. The pain medication and anti-nausea drug knocked him out which helped even more. He said he never wanted to do this again.


This morning (Sunday) he felt slightly better and actually got out of bed and came into the kitchen and ate a little. This picture is from this morning. He thought he looked like a terrorist...just needing a little more facial hair. He seemed to have a tiny bit more energy and actually said he could probably handle this if he only felt extremely awful one day. He slept a little today and was able to stay "vertical" more than horizontal today. We are so happy he felt a little better. We actually walked to the ward and back tonight. We're proud of you Craiger!

Chemo and Catheters

We arrived at 6 am on Wed. July 8 at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital. Our room was a beautiful suite with an adjoining family room. The view was tremendous, overlooking the whole Salt Lake Valley from the Capitol up north all the way to the point of the mountain down south. Craig was feeling uneasy about the whole thing until we were placed in this room and then he felt a sense of relief and comfort. We were able to sit in the family room and get away from the hospital look of his room for a few minutes. They hooked him up to an IV to begin pumping fluids in him before the procedure at 1 pm. He relaxed and snoozed a little while they prepared him for the main event. At 1 pm they took him to the radiology suite by wheelchair. He was placed on a table and told to stay still while they performed the chemoembolization of his liver. He was under conscious sedation so they could tell him to hold his breath when they zapped the tumors. They entered through the main artery in his groin and fed a catheter all the way up to his liver and delivered the chemo to the tumors as best they could. Craig's anatomy has some twists and turns in the arteries which made it difficult to get directly to the tumors. After about 4 hours into the procedure Craig's bladder was full and he had to go real bad. He held it an additional hour, but by then he was so blocked up he was in intense pain. They tried to put a catheter in him to relieve his discomfort. Unfortunately they messed up while inserting the catheter and didn't get it all the way into the bladder so it was stuck in the urethra. All the attention given to his relieving himself made it impossible for him to get much relief. It was a desperate situation for him that still gives him nightmares.

The dr. said about 1/2 the liver was treated with chemo. She said, "A smaller amount of chemo was delivered over a larger area of the liver" where they had hoped to direct a larger amount of chemo to a smaller portion of the liver to avoid collateral damage to the liver.

Once he came back to the room about 7 pm he was in a lot of pain; not from the liver treatment but from the placement of the catheter during the procedure. The catheter was also leaking and he was laying in his own urine. He had to stay still in bed for 6 hours after the chemo so the catheter had to stay in place during that time and maybe until the next morning. The nurses tried to adjust the catheter to relieve his pain but it was so irritated by now that it was impossible to feel relief and everything they did just made it worse. They pumped some pain meds in him which didn't help for awhile so I did all I could to calm him and keep his head down when the pain got intense. After about 2 hours of this they finally reinserted the catheter and got it in the right place and the drugs kicked in and he was able to rest. It was a very tough night for all of us. He made it through the night without a lot of pain and was able to get up in the morning and shower with the incision and IV site covered. He was a new man! He ate 2 omelets for breakfast since he hadn't been able to eat all day Wed. We hung around Huntsman most of the day Thursday while they continued to check his vitals and pump more fluid into him and came home about 7 pm. He had made it through his first chemo treatment! He says that if it was going to be like that each time he would never do it again. We know now what needs to be done before he goes in. Too bad the nurses and doctor hadn't figured that out before this!?!

California Here We Came...

We just returned from Huntington Beach. Everyone is tan and tired. Craig enjoyed boogie boarding and biking on the boardwalk. He didn't have the endurance for his normal all day body surfing but he did pretty good for any middle aged guy! The weather was a little cooler than usual but we didn't let it ruin the fun. A few afternoons the wind gave us a dermabrasion...but it was free so who really cared? The Harmons were great roommates and it gave our kids an appreciation for being from a smaller family (no really...we loved sharing the house with 9 people!). Chase's shoulders are peeling but it only adds to the muscle layers. We did spend a day at Sea World (pictured). Here's some photos for your viewing pleasure...

Next week on Tues. July 7 we meet with the intervention radiologist Dr. Burdett and the next day Craig starts chemo at Huntsman Cancer Hospital. We check in at 6 am on July 8 and he's there until the next day. It's called chemoembolization where they direct the chemo directly to the liver through the hepatic artery in the groin. They will then target the tumors in the liver and make them go away! He's really feeling pretty good right now so it's hard for him to think of putting this stuff in his body to make him feel lousy. If it kills the tumors...he's gonna do it and fight back! Cancer cannot win!

Next year we have to get back to the beach and ride our bikes and use the 3 additional boogie boards Craig bought. Craig was a great scavenger... wood for the fire on the beach, coat hangers for marshmallows, straps for the boogie boards. If we didn't have it, he found it or created it!

Good News!

Good news! After the CT scan on Wed. night, Dr. Jones called the next day and said that there is no new tumor growth in comparison to last month. We're so happy to hear this news! This means Craig will probably hold off on chemo until after our trip to the beach in late June so he can feel as good as possible for this fun, family vacation. We meet with Dr. Jones again next week.

Chase graduated from Skyline High School yesterday. We had a fun lunch with 7 of the boys and parents in our neighborhood all graduating, most have been together since 1st grade. We then went on to the graduation ceremony at the Huntsman Center. Here's Chase out in front ready to take on the world.

Craig is 54!!

June 1 was Craig's 54th birthday! He didn't have a great big party but he did enjoy some banana cream and coconut cream pie from Cowboy Grub with a few friends. The Air Force did a flyover our house a few times which also added to the excitement of the day. Thanks to whomever arranged that!

One exciting thing that happened for Craig's birthday last Saturday was arranged for by his sister Lisa. While driving down to Great Harvest, Craig and I were pulled over by a policeman who said Craig ran the stop sign at Valley View and Wander Lane. Craig said he hadn't noticed he did that and told the officer that he has cancer and we were discussing the chemo coming up. The officer took Craig's license, registration and insurance card back to his vehicle. He took about 5 minutes to come back and then asked Craig to get out of the car. Craig complied and then the officer said he was going to have to arrest him for an outstanding violation involving our dog wandering without a leash and a neighbor's complaint. The officer said Craig had not acknowledged numerous letters and now he would have to take him in. He proceeded to search Craig for weapons and then have him put his hands behind his back to be handcuffed. Craig's look on his face says it all...could anything else happen? He took Craig to his patrol car and opened the front door and out popped Lisa from under a camouflage jacket, Craig's little sister who created this whole thing for his birthday. The gift is that this officer, Lisa's neighbor, will take him on a "ride along" one night to see the inner workings of the Salt Lake City police. Craig's look of shock on his face was slightly relieved knowing this wasn't for real but he still hasn't decided if he thought it was funny...

Old Friends

Three of Craig's buddies from his growing up days on Dearborn St. came into town last weekend (May 22-23). Ryan Conlon, Glen Williams and Kelly Murdock plus Craig's brother Dave and his wife Marie all stopped by for burgers and some chatting about old times. It was fun for the boys to remember the good old days of homemade bombs, wild girls and secret clubs. Here's a picture of the group before we sent them home after midnight. Thanks to the boys for getting together to reminisce...it meant a lot to Craig.

Dr. Visits

On Tuesday, May 26, we had 2 doctor appointments. One with the intervention radiologist (IR), Dr. Burdett and one with the GI oncologist, Dr. Jones. Dr. Burdett will be the doctor overseeing the chemoembolization which is the chemotherapy directed at the liver through the hepatic artery. She explained that a small portion of the liver would be "embolized" which would target the tumors in the liver in that area through their blood vessels and hopefully preserve the other portion of the liver to maintain liver function. Then after Craig recovers from that session, about 4 weeks later they would go in and do it to another portion of the liver. This is really the only treatment available for his type of cancer. We hope to have this scheduled next week so he'll have about two weeks to recover before we go to California for a much-awaited beach vacation.

We then met with Dr. Jones who assessed Craig's current health and how the octreotide is working. Craig relayed his current symptoms which include flushing of the face and neck and hypoglycemia (low sugar 2-3 times/day) and slightly less diarrhea. Dr. Jones decided that the drug is not doing what it should and told him to stop the injections. Craig will see how he feels without the drug as the research is not conclusive as to whether this drug will help with his extensive tumor load in the liver. So now he's back to where he began and not feeling great with a recent cold. We'll see how his body reacts now that he's not taking the shots.

After the appointment Dr. Jones wanted more blood drawn so we stopped by the lab. They drew blood and he felt pretty low suger at the time. When we got home Dr. Jones called to say his blood sugar level was 34! Normal is 100. Very low...he needs to eat and drink every 2-3 hours to keep it up. The tumor must be producing insulin they think...but no one really knows exactly what is going on. Dr. Jones said the cancer is a low grade, neuroendocrine tumor but not the islet cell, more like a carcinoid. It is all becoming very obvious that they are making the best "educated" guess but no one is positive exactly what type of cancer has invaded Craig's body.

26 years

On May 21 we celebrated our 26th anniversary by staying at The Inn at Snowbird. It was a very romantic night...fireplace, cinnamon bears and a hot tub. What more could you want?

Family Photo

Thanks to our photographer, Heather George, we have a new photo heading for our blog. Cute Heather sent this to me today with our names all on it to add to the top of the blog. This is one of our favorite photos from the photo shoot two weeks ago. She captured some great images of our family which we are so thankful for. Thanks Heather!

Friends

It's amazing how nice being with friends...whether talking in person, talking on the phone, texting, emailing, blog comments, snail mail, whatever...totally makes your day! We can be feeling pretty down and out but just having someone stop by to say "hi", makes our day. One little action can turn it around to be a lot better day than we were previously thinking. We just want everyone out there to know how you all help us get through each day. It would be a sad and lonely day without friends. We are "so seriously blessed". (Check out the blog by that name for some laughs!)

Craig has had calls from friends from the past and present, cousins, aunts and uncles and everyone in-between that he loves hearing from and gets a boost from each one. It means a lot to both of us and to our kids. Even Scout is appreciating the extra walks with his dog friends (pictured here smiling with Homie). You all have truly lifted our spirits. Thanks. I hope we can return the favor to everyone whether you're in need or not. Craig says how important a smile is and how it can really make someone's day. I totally believe in that. Keep smiling!

Black cloud

Craig and I went to a wedding reception tonight of the daughter of a cute girl that lived in the basement apartment of our house in Sugarhouse many years ago. We haven't seen them in years and have only kept in touch mainly by Christmas cards. They were excited to see us and us them. When she asked what was going on with us, the first thing I thought of is of course the cancer. But Craig and I had decided before we went to the reception that we wouldn't talk about it at this happy event. It's hard to not talk about it when it's the first thing always on our minds. As we walked out Craig said, "it's like a black cloud that follows us around". So true, I can't imagine that when we're at Home Depot picking out plants or at Zupas eating soup tonight, that everyone else isn't thinking about cancer too.

I've been giving the octreotide shots to Craig again since Tues. night. On Wed. I left for a lunch downtown before Craig got his shot so he had to administer it himself for the first time. He hates shots...but who doesn't? He's trying just 2 shots a day for the first 4-5 days to help his body get used to them again. He really feels the affects of the shots some days and other days he seems to tolerate it better. Today hasn't been the best of days, his stomach hasn't felt great, he's bloated and he is tired. I'm not much better with a bad cold myself. He can't get my cold...he does not need that!

Craig has an appointment with Dr. Burdett, an intervention radiologist, on May 27th. This is the doctor that will administer the chemo through the liver-directed therapy or chemoembolization. It's still frustrating that treatment isn't moving along at a very fast pace. Dr. Jones says that this is a slow growing cancer and it isn't necessary to rush into treatment. Maybe not for her...

The treatment plan

Now for what we've all been waiting for...the treatment plan! Craig and I showed up to Dr. Jones' office today and she quickly revealed the plan for treatment. Craig has pancreatic neuroendocrine tumors and it is most likely islet cell tumors which is rather rare. Dr. Jones has seen about 10 cases of this type of cancer. Most pancreatic cancers are adenopancreatic.

The liver is extensively involved or a "significant tumor burden". For now, he will go back on the octreotide injections 3X day to hopefully slow the growth of the tumors in the liver. If he tolerates that ok, then he'll receive monthly injections. The tumor on the pancreas is where the cancer originated but the concern now is more with the liver and the need for the liver to function properly. Amazingly his liver is working fine right now so we're thankful for that. The doctor also plans to have Craig see an interventional radiologist, Dr. Carlisle, who will perform liver-directed therapy or chemoembolization to hit the liver with chemo directly through the hepatic artery. This is a procedure that will occur about once a month with an overnight stay in the hospital. They will infuse the liver with chemo to hopefully stunt the growth of the cancer in the liver. Dr. Jones says this is a slow growing cancer and we will do whatever we can do to slow it down even more. We are finding that dealing with this cancer is an ever changing thing and not for the impatient (that would be me!). We think we have a solid idea of what cancer Craig has but the treatment is far from an exact science. It may change in a week or a month. The treatment all depends on how Craig tolerates it and how the cancer reacts to it.

We are thankful for all the amazing medical inventions that exist to aid us with his treatment. Thanks to my dear brother, Craig Harmon, for his love and concern throughout this process. His knowledge and willingness to consult with Dr. Jones on Craig's treatment is calming and helpful to us to know we are receiving the best care available. Thanks to everyone else for prayers, thoughts and positive energy you are sending our way.

The "Good" Cancer

Today, yes a day earlier than expected, we heard from Dr. Jones about the liver biopsy. She said they have confirmed that this is low grade neuroendocrine tumor which is the "good" pancreatic cancer! It did begin in the pancreas and metastasized to the liver. It's amazing that we'd be happy about this but this is the rarer form of pancreatic cancer that has proven to be more treatable (not curable). There is a lot of research being done in this area and they will try some new treatments that are just in the trial phase right now. She was very positive and said we would meet tomorrow to discuss the treatment plan. She said she will take Craig's case to the "liver board" tomorrow morning and receive input from other doctors regarding his treatment. Thanks for everyone's prayers and positive thoughts. I think they're working!!

Mr. Red Face

Craig's face went red yesterday, not from embarassment (Craig get embarassed, come on!) but from possibly penetrating the liver during the biopsy. It's still red today as you can see in the picture. He looks sunburned. The doctor didn't seem concerned so we're going with the new look (it does look better than last Sunday's picture, don't you think?). He's feeling ok today...he hasn't taken any drugs hoping to get his system to settle down. Last night was brutal for him. Every new drug he takes seems to cause a new problem and most likely it's more diarrhea (I know you wanted to read that but it's the truth!) Thanks to everyone who calls, replies to the blog, sends emails, stops by, leaves large sums of cash in unmarked envelopes. We really appreciate the love and concern.

The liver biopsy

The liver biopsy is done. They told us to go to the U Hospital at 8:45 am. We parked, made our way through the construction and down the dreary halls of the hospital and were sitting in radiology for 1/2 hour waiting...then they said we should be at Huntsman. We were happy to leave the U and head up to Huntsman. The difference is amazing and it does so much to lift your spirits being in a beautiful place that's not under construction and doesn't really look like a hospital at all. So "thank you Jon Huntsman"! At Huntsman they got us right in and did an ultrasound to look at Craig's liver to see if they could see the tumors, if they couldn't, then we wouldn't be able to have the biopsy. But the tumors were visible and they proceeded with the biopsy. Craig was slightly sedated and the skin and area of his liver was sedated also. The ultrasound wand was placed on his right side until they found the exact spot where they wanted to biopsy. A little "needle holder" was attached to the wand and the doctor slid the very long needle through that and into Craig's liver. Craig had to hold his breath so his liver wouldn't move. I could see the needle appear on the screen as they entered the liver. Then the needle has a little grabber hook that comes out and snags a snippet of his liver and withdraws it back into the needle and they pull out the needle and deposit the sample in a little cup. They did that five times and took different samples from two of the tumors they could see on the right side. Craig didn't feel much and what he did feel was just a little pressure luckily. He conversed and said a few funny things while they were doing the procedure. He was taken into recovery where he slept for 1.5 hours and I played games on my iTouch! I had great intentions of catching up my journal but my brain just wanted to zone out for awhile. We went to lunch at The Point after he woke up and he did pretty well. He felt ok and was able to walk and talk just fine. We met with Dr. Jones after and she made a change on the drug he was taking since it's not giving the result they want. Now he'll be taking a pancreas enzyme to replace what the pancreas isn't producing. We'll see if that helps him get his system slowed down. The results from the biopsy won't be ready until next Tuesday. That's the day we'll find out the course of treatment. Craig is a trooper and still smiles and is already being referred to as the "nice guy" by the staff at Huntsman who have just met him. That's my Craiger!

Waiting and waiting

I'm feeling frustrated...waiting for the biopsy tomorrow has been too many days. Then I know that we won't know anything yet so we'll wait more days for the results. I'm frustrated because Craig still has cancer and nothing is being done yet to stop it. OK, I know he's getting the octreotide shots 3X a day, but they've only made his symptoms worse. He's just not feeling that great. I need to be more patient but I'm not good at that. I want help for him now and I want someone to make the cancer go away!

On the good news of the day...we had family pictures taken this afternoon at Wheeler Farm by Heather George, expert photographer. She took about 500 pictures...so something should turn out ok. She took Chase's senior pictures and then the family, the kids and Craig, me and Craig. It was bittersweet. When she told Craig and I to look at each other, I started crying. The reality of the situation and why we were taking the pictures became very real.

Pray for us tomorrow!! Thanks for everyone's love and concern. Craig says to keep smiling...that's what we did for 2 hours today at Wheeler Farm!

The love fest

What amazing people we are surrounded by in our ward, our neighborhood and our families. We had an incredible day on Sunday. The Holladay 25th Ward (best ward by far in the church) held a fast for Craig and a special prayer at the conclusion of fast meeting. Bishop Scott Wilmarth, just one week on the job, conducted the meeting and created a very special spirit for all of us. We so appreciate the friends and family who came to the meeting and who participated in the service by bearing their testimonies. How we could ever be worthy to be thought about like this is hard to imagine. All we can say is that it was a major love fest all day which fed us spiritually, mentally and physically. It has taken us through the night and into today with the positive energy flowing around our house. Thanks to Craig's brother Scott for organizing the food for all the families. We love you Scott! Thanks to everyone for taking the time to be with us and for bringing tasty food. We really can't think of any people we'd rather be with. We love you all so very much!
Craig has had a fairly good day on Monday. The shots are still making him a little nauseous for about an hour but he toughs his way through it. He's more tired now and we're not sure if that is because of the drugs or that he's listening more to his body and knows it needs more rest. I know I'm experiencing the "tireds" each afternoon, thank heaven for The Store, crunchy ice and diet Coke with a fresh lemon or lime!

Craig's sister Lisa is a diabetic and gave us "shot" lessons yesterday. I learned to stab him more like throwing a dart than sliding it in like sewing. Craig seems to appreciate the lesson and has been complimenting my shot giving all day! Thanks Lisa, we love you!

Chase had his final AP Government test today and will have his AP Calculus and AP English tests on Wed. and Thurs. He is great at staying focused on what needs to be done. He has a positive attitude and keeps the tears hidden (unlike his mother) in order to maintain his "Senior Dude" persona.

Maddie is also alive and finds this blogging thing ridiculous. Our lives are not that exciting. (Written by Maddie...I told her it's my blog and I can say what I want.) This is a picture of her with her cute cousins Lexi and Ellie.

Craig says keep smiling!! He really does have a great attitude and stays positive through it all. We are trying to wait patiently for the liver biopsy on Thursday and getting the results from that.