Sunday

I slept over with Craig on Saturday night.  It was a tough night. He was awake or someone was in here every half hour. His blood sugar was in the 80s so he could drop fast and they wouldn't come back to check him for 2 hours. I would fall asleep and worry they hadn't checked him for awhile. I would call the nurse and they'd come in and wake him up and check him.  It went on like that until about 5:30 am and I decided I couldn't sleep anymore because I was just too nervous watching him.  He was asleep pretty soundly now and I went home to sleep in my bed.  Craig called me about 10 am and the first words he said is "I'm done".  He said, "Do you want to have me home and have nights like that?"  It's hard to say yes because no one wants to live like that.  He was sad and upset and felt like everything we've done to try to preserve his life has only made him feel worse.  He said he feels like he's back to the same problem we came in with added problems.  Nothing has really changed.  He's still unable to keep up his blood sugars on his own and if he doesn't have the glucose drip constantly going in him he will die.

Chase and I came up about 11 and Craig requested a Frosty from Wendy's so we brought that up and he enjoyed a few spoonfuls.  He was feeling very down and didn't want anyone visiting. We had a very tearful phone conversation with Maddie.  It is hard to have her across the country again.  The nice thing is we have the luxury of conversations like this where we can say the things we want to say.  So many families don't get this time.

Dr Whisenant came in and we discussed our options.  The doctor says he's surprised we haven't had an obvious effect from the Y90. It's been 4-5 days and we should have seen something by now.  He suggested trying octreotide (an injection that lasts 8 hours).  Craig had taken this drug at the very first of his cancer battle and it caused bad side effects like flushing, diarrhea and high blood sugars. We don't know how it would react in his body now but Craig wasn't sure he wanted to try it.  Everything they suggest is just a bandaid.  Craig likes the metaphor: "It's like throwing an ice cube at a raging fire".  We told the doctor we'd think about it.  We also asked him what would happen if Craig chose to not take any more dextrose.  He said he would within hours experience the effects of low blood sugar and go to sleep as his brain is deprived of sugar.  They would keep him out of pain with morphine and he would gently slip away.  It would most likely take no more than a few hours or perhaps a day or so.  Craig likes to feel he has some control by knowing he has this option.  He would be able to stay here at Huntsman and it would be a peaceful event.

The blood sugars are still being held up by the dextrose drip and the extra D50.  Craig hasn't felt like eating at all today. His pain was higher and the nurse gave him more oxy than he usually has and that made him pretty sleepy for a few hours.  He feels like his nights are turning into his days.  Just trying to endure to get through the hours.  When he awoke we went for a walk outside and sat and looked at the mountains.  The evening was mellow and we kept it quiet.  I am so thankful to have Chase here right now to keep me sane.

Saturday

Chase slept over on Friday night and they had a pretty good night. Chase said he was pretty restful throughout the night and only awoke when he had to use the bathroom. Craig ate half an omelet in the morning and that was a good thing. His mood is definitely better when he eats something with fats and proteins.  Living off the glucose is possible but not recommended.  He was in a pretty good mood and I came up in the early afternoon and his brother Dave and sister-in-law Marie were here visiting with him.  We went outside and it was a lovely day.  He didn't feel like eating anything for lunch and was in pain in his gut. We came back to the room and he got more drugs and he fell asleep on the couch. Jason and Sherrie visited and he slept through that visit and Heidi and Doug came and he slept through most of their visit too. It's a nice break to have friends stop by but Craig feels bad about sleeping and not "being there" to see them.  He doesn't like that he'd rather sleep than talk to friends and family.  His pain seemed more today. His gut just feels so distended and tight,

Friday

Today was another rough day for the Craiger.  He has no appetite and it's hard to keep up blood sugars with no food going in.  We finally convinced the doctors to just let him get the extra D50 dextrose to keep up his blood sugars so he doesn't have to worry about eating.  They want him to take in food obviously for the nutrients but today he really doesn't care.  He feels lousy, his whole abdomen is bloated and is under a lot of pressure.  He has pain on the right side of his liver where the procedure took place, his neck is hurting from laying in bed, and he is really sick of being in the hospital.  I got up there about 8:30 am and I didn't have much luck in cheering him up.  I just said "I'm sorry" a lot.  I feel so responsible for his well-being and feel protective of him.  I don't want him to suffer and feel like I'm betraying him if we do more than we agreed to do.  I know we just need to be patient and let the beads do their thing but we're not too patient after almost 3 weeks in the hospital.  We were hoping we'd see some results today with the blood sugars going up but he hovered around 100 or down to 60 most of the day even with 4 different boosts of glucose in addition to the constant D25 drip.  His uric acid is up as well as his potassium.  Both signs of tumors dying but both enzymes can cause problems.  Uric acid causes gout and kidney stones; both of which he's had and doesn't want to have again.  Potassium can be toxic in high levels and cause a heart attack.  His levels are not as high as they were last year so we think it will be ok but the doctors here are being cautious and limiting his potassium intake which limits foods available to him.  Chase has been up here most of the day too and is staying with him tonight so he can make sure he has a better night and keep him happier.  So thankful for our great kids.  Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

Maddie and Mitch head back to Virginia

Sad day.  Maddie and Mitch flew back to Virginia today on a buddy pass, thanks to our good friend Cheryl.  They have a lot going on right now.  Mitch takes his Step One test next Thursday which is the culmination of the first two years of medical school.  It's a big test that determines what specialties will be available to you in residency.

The day after the test, they will fly to London for a 3 week Europe trip!  A great reward for their hard work in getting to this point.  We can't wait to hear about their travels through England, Belgium, France, and Spain.  Maddie will then need to decide between her acceptances at U of U, University of Maryland or VCU medical schools.

Chase is here with me until this weekend.  He is an awesome son and is great help with Craig.  They've been playing chess in the hospital room together.  We will miss having Maddie and Mitch around right now.  Love you kids so very much.  We are so proud of you all!

He's radioactive!

Craig made it through the first night and slept ok.  They kept him comfortable from pain with meds.  Today he is feeling ok but frustrated with mixed messages from the medical staff.  Yesterday the intervention radiologist who did the procedure said not to worry too much about his radiation.  Now today a PA said to stay away from his room but then our doctors, Dr Weis and Dr Whisenant (the attending doc), said it's not that big of deal.  The half-life of the radiation is 22 hours after the procedure which is this morning.  That means it's the most potent time right now and after that it diminishes by half every day and then runs out in 12 days.

His potassium is higher today so they have him on an EKG to monitor his heart.  He needs to be more restrictive of eating foods high in potassium (potatoes, bananas, beans, most vegetables...). Basically anything healthy is high in potassium and is hard on his heart.  Makes no sense!  We've dealt with that for awhile but now with the stress of the radiation they want to be extra careful.  To top this off he's getting a cold.  He doesn't need that right now.  I'm going up this afternoon to take him out in the sun for awhile.  It's a beautiful day.

Y-90 Radioembolization

It's Wednesday, March 15th and the procedure is over! It went well and the doctor was able to get the radioactive beads into the places he wanted to in about 1/3rd of his liver.  Now we wait to see how Craig's liver responds and if the tumors stop producing too much insulin.  They had to give him extra glucose again during the procedure. Last night in the night he required extra glucose too.  I think his anxiety about today added to his problems.  Last night, Maddie, Chase and I sat with him and tried to keep things calm as he was worrying about doing it and saying he wasn't sure he wanted to.  We watched "St.Vincent" the movie which was very good and provided a nice distraction.  The nurse and aide took good care of him in the night and we went home to sleep for a few hours.

We got here this morning about 7:30 am and they were ready to take him to radiology.  We followed him as they wheeled his bed through the maze to the U of U hospital.  It takes about 15 minutes to get there from Huntsman. We wished him well and they took him into the radiology suite.

We saw him after the procedure and he was not a happy camper.  The urinary catheter they had placed had leaked and he was sitting in pee.  He had to stay flat for a few hours after so we could do nothing to help him.  They scanned him to look at the beads and finally brought him to the room where his back was in pain again from laying flat.  The nurse worked hard to get the pain meds in him but he was very unhappy and using words I won't repeat here. He told me "never again" would he do this!  The pain meds kicked in and after about half an hour he was ready to get up and go to the bathroom and clean up.  We got him back in a clean bed and he fell asleep and is still pretty sleepy a few hours later. His blood sugar dropped below 60 again and they had to give him more 50% dextrose to get it up.  He's not eating anything much and is supposed to be on a clear diet although he enjoyed a few bites of an oatmeal cookie from Cowboy Grub!  I just ordered him some beef broth and hopefully he'll wake up enough to slurp some down.  Not too worried about the blood sugar right now as we have spiked it to 172 between glucose and prednisone!  They upped the drip on the glucose from 60ccs per hour to 75ccs. Chase helped him with the beef broth and a roll we snuck in and Maddie and I ate lunch on the patio.  Lovely day here in SLC!

Two weeks in the hospital is a lengthy amount of time.  Craig is handling it well but tires of the food and the scenery.  Although, if you're going to be in a hospital, Huntsman is the place to be!  If you haven't been here it is a very nice place. Thank you Jon Huntsman Sr.!  Very warm and inviting, nice furniture and finishes.  Not your sterile hospital at all. We enjoy visiting and the food is not bad.  The Bistro has some great paninis, salads, and sweet potato fries are a big favorite!  Afternoon Diet Coke and sweet potato fries make my day!  We love having visitors and now that the weather is improving the patio in the back is a fun place to take Craig on a little walk.

Maddie, Suzy and the Craiger

Todd (our nephew), Chase, Craig and Kathy (my sister)

Chase, Craig, Maddie, Mitch, Todd and Scout

Maddie cutting Craig's hair

Finished product!  Looking good Craiger!

 Maddie remodeled a t-shirt for Craig to wear in the hospital!  He has a PICC line on his right arm so he can't pull a t-shirt over his head.  She unpicked the whole side seam and put in Velcro buttons to attach it down the side.  Very ingenious Maddie!  Craig loves his yellow t-shirts!

These two handsome boys showed up yesterday.  Craig, Chase, Mason Brewer and Spencer Cannon.  Love these boys like our own!  Craig is wearing his yellow color ensemble: shirt, jacket and sunglasses!  Lookin' good!

Today our wonderful friend Jason (and Sherrie) visited and took Craig for a stroll outside.

Here's both of them!  Sherrie wore her yellow shirt to make Craig's day.  We so appreciate everyone's love and support.  The Thomases are truly like family.  We love you both!